Be With The One You Love
by Laura1981
Summary: Continuation of season 2, ep 8 My Own Worst Enemy. Jane would put up with anything for Maura and Maura knows Jane's secret.


**Disclaimers: **These characters aren't mine_. _They belong to Janet Tamaro and Tess Gerritson, I'm just borrowing them for some fun.

**A/N:** This takes place right after the camera stops rolling for season 2, episode 8 My Own Worst Enemy. It's my attempt at making that episode right.

**Reviews:** Yes, please, they let me know if I should keep doing this.

Jane held her best friend Maura Isles tightly, caressing her hair with one hand while rubbing her back with the other as she cried in her arms. It hurt her to see her friend in so much pain and she would give anything to be able to make her feel better. A large part of her wanted to go to the airport and punch Ian in the face for making Maura hurt so badly and Jane wasn't too big a person to admit that a small part of her wanted to punch him out of jealously. By now though she was used to feeling this way and clamped down on it, putting it back where it belonged.

Jane had fallen in love with Maura Isles, her best friend, quite a while ago now. Her feelings toward the woman had started to change over a year ago and at first she had tried to deny what she was feeling but after a time she accepted it, but she promised herself to never say a word to Maura. After all, what could come of it? Awkwardness, misunderstandings, possibly even the ending of their friendship; telling Maura would serve no good purpose. It was clear to Jane that the amber haired woman could never feel the same about her and after what had just happened with Ian that message was never more loud and clear.

Maura had just declared Ian the love of her life and now stood sobbing in her arms, trembling slightly as her emotions overwhelmed her. Jane could feel her own heart break a little bit more with every sob, mostly for the pain Maura was feeling and yes, partly for her own pain. Adjusting her arms more securely around the fragile woman she sighed inwardly.

"It'll be ok Mar honey," she soothed, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

"I just don't understand why you can't be with the person you love," Maura cried into her shoulder.

"Sometimes love just isn't enough," Jane whispered, her voice quiet and soothing, secretly knowing all too well what her friend was going through.

After a few more moments Maura sniffed and pulled away, wiping her eyes with a tissue and took a small sip from her wine glass.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess, maybe your mother should try organizing my emotions at the moment," Maura joked, sniffing again but no longer crying.

Jane gave her a sad smile in return but said nothing.

"You're right you know," Maura commented after a minute, "love isn't enough for Ian and me. It never was."

Jane rubbed her friend's arm sympathetically before walking to the fridge and getting a beer. "You wanna go sit on the couch and talk a bit?" Jane offered.

Maura shook her head in agreement and both walked to the couch, taking their drinks with them. Jane sat down first and Maura sat down next to her, snuggling into her side and wrapping her arm around Jane's torso. Jane smiled and breathed in the M.E.'s perfume while feeling a bit guilty that she was taking any pleasure in the current situation.

"When I first met Ian, it was like love at first sight. We were both young and idealistic just out of med school. He had that wonderful accent and charismatic charm; he completely swept me off my feet. Things were wonderful between us for months, but then," Maura sighed here and Jane took her hand, squeezing it in understanding, "he got involved in smuggling drugs into third world nations where supplies were scarce or non-existent. It impressed me, the way he was risking his freedom for the sake of others. We'd stay up at night talking about how we should start free clinics in all these impoverished areas and help the people. Then one day, when we were in Ethiopia, I woke up and he was gone. At first I thought he'd just stepped out for a while but when night fell and he still hadn't come back I became worried. It was only then I found the note he'd left me. He'd put it on the dresser but it must have fallen because I found it on the floor. It wasn't very long. He said he had to leave because he'd got a tip that Interpol were in the area and looking for him. He said it was too dangerous for him to stay and he didn't want me to come with him and ruin my life as well."

Maura stopped here for a moment and took a healthy drink of her wine as she breathed deeply and tried to keep her composure. After a minute she snuggled back into Jane's side and continued.

"He told me he would miss me and that he cared for me deeply but couldn't commit to anything because of what he planned on doing with his life. I was devastated. I never knew I could hurt so much and not long after that I came back to the States. A few months later I received an email from him saying he missed me and hoped I was well. He said he wanted to keep in touch and would see me as often as he could manage."

"I'm so sorry Maura," Jane whispered. Not knowing what else to say she wrapped her arms around the small woman and began caressing her hair again.

"Since then I've only seen him a handful of times. Each time I see him it's almost as if no time has passed, but then he leaves and I become a mess. I tell myself every time it'll be the last time, but I keep letting him come back."

"I know you love him Maura, but I think he's a bastard to keep doing this to you."

Maura laughed softly. "Maybe he is. I don't know. He's living his life the way that's right for him."

"Does he love you?" Jane asked not really wanting to know but doing her best to be a good friend.

Maura sighed before answering, "In his own way he does."

"You deserve more than that."

"He's a wonderful man, Jane. What he does for the people in those countries is what no one else has the guts to do, but it means he has to give up his own life to do it."

"That's his choice then but he shouldn't keep playing with your heart. He must know how hard it is for you. Nothing gives him the right to put you through this whenever he wants a booty call."

Jane immediately wished she could take back that last sentence or at least phrase it differently as Maura tensed in her arms and pulled away to look at her. Seeing the hurt mixed with a simmering anger in hazel eyes she wanted to rip her own tongue out.

"God Maura, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just hate to see you in so much pain and you deserve so much more than this." Jane rushed to explain.

For a minute she thought Maura was going to tell her to leave, but then her gaze softened and became sad again. Jane wasn't sure which she hated more.

"Why Jane, why do I deserve more? I'm nothing special, just a woman who was a weird kid and who grew up to be an even weirder woman. I can't connect with anyone on a meaningful emotional level. Do you know no one has ever told me they love me?"

"Oh Maura, I- I'm sure that's not true," Jane stammered, having to swallow back the very words Maura claimed to have never heard before. "And you're not weird, you're unique, quirky, a little eccentric," Jane grinned, "but not weird. And you've connected with me on a deep emotional level."

Jane said the last softly with some self-doubt before reaching for her beer and taking a swig. She knew Maura didn't think well enough of herself and she hated it. Maura was the most giving, caring, unselfish woman Jane had ever met. There wasn't a deceitful bone in her body… well, ok she'd lied a couple times about Ian, but that was different.

Jane looked over at Maura to find the Chief Medical Examiner smiling softly at her, the first real smile she'd seen since coming through the door and she returned it.

"Thank you Jane," Maura said, "you're such a wonderful friend to me."

"Even if I did check up on your boyfriend?" Jane joked as she accepted the honey brunette back in her arms for another hug.

Maura sighed against her neck causing her to shiver slightly which she hoped went unnoticed.

"I'll admit I was a bit angry about that, but after thinking about it I know you were only doing it because you care and want to look out for me."

Jane breathed a sigh of relief. "I would never hurt you intentionally."

"I know," Maura said, releasing her hold and leaning back to look at Jane. "Stay with me tonight?"

"Sure," Jane responded, willing herself not to think of how she wished Maura was asking her that question.

_Jesus! Put a lid on it Rizzoli! She's hurting because and I quote, 'the love of her life' has once again loved her and left her. She doesn't need your love sick bullshit right now! _

Jane forced herself to break eye contact with Maura; afraid the other woman would use that facial recognition thing and see right through her. Polishing off her beer she took her empty bottle and Maura's now empty wine glass back to the kitchen while the M.E. went into her bedroom to change for bed. After putting her bottle in the recycling and the glass in the sink she went to the guest bedroom to change into a pair of sweats and an old Boston P.D. t-shirt she left here for just such occasions. She actually had a few changes of clothes stashed away in the guest bedroom closet; two pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts, a couple sweat shirts and two business suits she wore for work. She hadn't meant to end up with that much stuff here but over the course of time these got left behind from her sleep overs. Just as she was about to get into bed Maura opened her bedroom door.

"Oh," Maura said as she looked at Jane drawing back the covers on the guest bed.

"What?" Jane asked, looking at Maura blankly.

Amusement coloured Jane's features as she watched Maura's face blush faintly and her facial expression change to one of hesitation.

"What is Mar?" Jane asked, thoroughly amused now and finding this display utterly cute and endearing.

"Um…well…I was sort of hoping, if you don't mind, but then I suppose it really isn't necessary…" Maura trailed off.

Jane couldn't help but laugh. "My God Maura, what is it? I rarely ever hear you tongue-tied! You didn't really want me to go arrest my Ma did you?"

Maura laughed at the joke and relaxed, "It's tempting. I'll never be able to get those shoe boxes back!"

Both women laughed for a few moments before Jane said sincerely, "What is it Mar? You know you can ask me anything."

"I was hoping you'd sleep with me tonight."

Jane forgot to breathe for a moment until she registered the words in the way she was sure Maura meant them. Then she smiled and replied, "Sure."

Maura smiled and turned to go back to her room while Jane took a deep breath and followed her. Maura crawled into bed and the Detective slipped in beside her but kept her distance. However after a moment Maura snuggled up against her and Jane fought to keep breathing normally.

"Thank you Jane, I appreciate this. I just didn't feel like being alone tonight."

"Anything you need Maura, I'm always here for you," Jane replied softly as she wrapped one arm around the already half asleep woman.

Willing herself not to think about how wonderful it felt to have Maura pressed against her she soon joined Maura in sleep.

…

Maura yawned as she cracked one eye open and looked at the clock, it was 3am. Snuggling back into the warm body next to her she automatically slid her hand up the warm t-shirt to lie against a soft but firm abdomen. Sighing with contentment she froze a moment later when she realized whose shirt she'd just slid her hand under and her eyes flew open in fear as she looked up at the still sleeping Detective. Breathing a sigh of relief she withdrew her hand and sat up on one elbow to watch the sleeping brunette in the moonlight.

As she watched Jane sleep Maura couldn't help but feel guilty about asking the lithe woman to sleep with her. She knew it wasn't easy for Jane but she really didn't want to sleep alone and she craved the Detective's presence. She'd thought about telling Jane she knew and that it was ok, but she figured it would only complicate things if Jane Rizzoli knew that Maura knew she was in love with her. She sighed as she thought about how hard the last few days must have been for Jane; watching the woman she loved loving someone else, knowing she was with him and unable to do anything about it. And then to have to comfort Maura when he once again left her, but despite Jane's owns feelings she was still a wonderful friend. Even suggesting she go to Africa to be with Ian.

Maura would never do that. She'd decided long ago that what Jane had told her last night was true of her and Ian. Love wasn't enough for them. While she had strong feelings for the man she would never leave her life behind for him, he didn't even want her to and even if he did she didn't want to do that. Especially not now, Maura couldn't imagine her life without the sleeping woman beside her. As much as it pained her to admit it, she had just become a 'booty call' for Ian and she let him use her that way because whenever she would see him all the emotions from years ago would surface and once again feel real. Then he would leave and she would cry, then the next day she'd wake up and be fine. She wanted Ian to still mean as much to her as he once did, but it just wasn't the case. She hadn't told Jane about him before not because it was too painful, but because she was ashamed at how she let him use her.

She'd called Ian the love of her life last night but as she lay in Jane's arms falling asleep she questioned that statement. Maybe she'd thought Ian had been the love of her life… at least he was the only person she'd ever had such strong feelings for; until now. On one hand she did love Ian, he was everything she'd told Jane he was last night, but then there was Jane. Jane was all those things and more, plus she put Maura's feelings and needs above even her own. Wasn't that what love was really about?

So while she did love Ian and some part of her probably always would, she knew she loved Jane more. What she'd had with Ian was past and when he came around it got stirred up, but it didn't last. It wasn't Ian she wanted to spend her life with. She had to admit that when she said to Jane last night 'how can you love someone and not be able to be with them?' she hadn't really been talking about Ian. She'd been talking about Jane, but of course Jane didn't know that. But lying here next to her, watching as she slept peacefully, Maura could admit to herself that the real love of her life was Jane and last night she hadn't just been crying because Ian had left, but because Jane was still there, standing by her through everything, yet there could be nothing between them. Of course she couldn't say these things to Jane, but that was the truth.

When she'd hugged Jane she started crying all over again because there she was in the arms of someone who loved her unconditionally yet unable to do anything about it. So she'd blamed it all on Ian and of course Jane had believed her and stayed with her even though it had probably hurt her.

Maura smiled affectionately as Jane turned over and snuggled into Maura, not being able to resist the M.E. lowered her head and placed a light kiss on Jane's head. It was something she'd done many times before and would do many times in the future.

Maura remembered the first time she realized Jane loved her. It was about a year ago when Hoyt had come back using Lola to get to Jane through her brother Frankie. She'd interviewed the serial killer and as they watched the video of her doing so with Agent Dean she couldn't help but fumble to pause the recording when she heard Hoyt matter of factly tell her she was like him. It had brought a lot of buried emotions to the surface for her and Jane picked up on it. As Jane sat there holding her hands, telling her how much she was nothing like Hoyt Maura had seen it, but more than that, she'd felt it.

No one had ever looked at her that way before, not even Ian. Since then Jane's actions had only confirmed what she knew, what she could feel whenever she was near the Detective. She spent months trying to figure out what to do with this new knowledge and in the end had decided to say nothing though she'd come very close to admitting her feelings when Jane had shot herself to save Frankie as well as herself. Maura had been stunned when Jane had told her in a morphine induced haze that she'd shot herself not only to save Frankie but because she was terrified something was going to happen to Maura if she didn't get them all out of there. When she heard that Jane was willing to sacrifice her life to save her own, she'd almost told her how she felt, but she hadn't.

As much as she loved Jane and Jane loved her, she'd learned that love wasn't enough and she was too afraid to take the risk and lose their friendship. However, now she found herself reconsidering.

She knew they were both scared and that's why neither of them had ever made a move, but now she wondered what would happen if she put that fear aside and kissed Jane? Would Jane put her fear aside and return the kiss, or would she run? She was terrified to lose their friendship, but she was becoming more terrified of never knowing what could be between them if it was given a chance. She knew there was only one way to find out.

Swallowing back her fear she lowered her head and pressed her lips to the sleeping woman's.

…

Through a sleepy haze Jane became aware of wonderfully soft lips pressing against her own and she groaned as she returned the sweet kiss. Sliding her tongue along the other person's lips she slipped inside when they granted her entry and wrapped the person in her arms. It was only when she heard a quiet, very female moan as their tongues caressed that reality came crashing down onto her and she pulled away in shock.

"Maura! What the hell!" Jane exclaimed, sliding away from the woman to one side of the bed.

Jane swallowed when she looked into eyes half closed and lids heavy with desire.

"Maura, what the hell is going on here?" she asked, anger starting to rise, smothering her own desire.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura began, her voice conveying her regret, "I-I was watching you sleep and you looked so beautiful and-."

"So what? You just decide to kiss me!" Jane shouted.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," Maura admitted softly.

Jane was confused, angry, afraid and aroused, but she could see the truth of the statement in Maura's eyes. Could it be that Maura felt the same way about her? If she did, why the hell had she been all over Ian?

"Maura," Jane started, lowering her voice, but still disbelieving, "I don't understand. Hours ago you were crying on my shoulder about Ian and now you're kissing me? What the hell? Is this some sort of really messed up rebound thing?"

"I understand your confusion Jane but I've had feelings for you for a long time." Jane watched as Maura breathed deeply before continuing, "I was just always too afraid to act on them. I was upset last night yes, but not just for the reasons you think. When I asked why you can't be with the person you love, I wasn't talking about Ian, I was talking about you."

Jane stared at Maura blankly feeling more confused than ever. "I-I thought you loved him? I thought he was the love of your life? What the hell Mar?"

Jane had never felt so out of her depth. She wanted desperately to believe what Maura was telling her but it was rather hard. Everything was changing so quickly. One minute she thought Maura was in mourning over Ian and now Maura was kissing her!

"He was the love of my life… _was_," Maura emphasized, "This always happens when he shows up. We pick up as if nothing has changed, but then he leaves again and I feel hurt, but each time it's happened I've noticed my feelings of loss for him don't last very long. This time when you came over, I wasn't only crying about Ian, I was upset because what happened with him reminded me of what I'll never have with you." Maura looked down at her hands as she started to fidget uncomfortably, "I love you Jane. I have for a long time and I know you love me. I just…until now I've been too afraid to say anything."

Jane was stunned. Surely she'd misheard? Maura loved her? Her? Jane Rizzoli? And she claimed she knew Jane loved her too? How? How did she know how Jane felt? She thought she'd hid it so well, but looking back maybe she hadn't. Maybe she hadn't wanted to. Maybe she'd wanted Maura to figure it out so this exact situation would happen. But the timing sucked.

Jane didn't know what to think. She was too confused. None of this made sense to her. Without a word she got up from the bed, walked to the guest bedroom and put her shoes on, then headed for the front door.

"Jane!"

Jane turned around to see Maura looking distraught and afraid.

"I need some time to think."

"I know I've confused you, I-."

Jane interrupted by snorting sarcastically and saying, "Damn right you've confused me! How can you be sleeping with Ian yesterday and saying you love me today? That just doesn't make sense Maura!"

"We've both tried to go on with our lives despite knowing how we felt for each other, Jane, that's how I could do it. But I'm tired of living like that. Tired of denying how I feel about you and trying to pretend I can live the rest of my life without being with you, without loving you. I don't want to live that life anymore Jane. I'm still terrified I might end up losing you if we try this, but I _want_ to try."

Jane sighed and looked down at the floor mumbling, "What about Ian?"

"What else do you want to know Jane? I've tried to explain."

"Do you still love him?" Jane asked, making herself look up at Maura.

"A part of me does and maybe always will," Maura answered truthfully taking a step toward Jane when she noticed her shoulders slump at the news, "But that part of me is young and another lifetime ago. The woman you see now, the woman standing here before you, she loves you."

Their gazes locked and Jane felt like she was falling into those shining, beautiful hazel eyes so filled with love. Love for her she realized and she couldn't stop the feelings of happiness that were suddenly flowing through her. She flashed Maura a blinding smile filled with her own love as she bridged the distance between them and wrapped the woman in her arms, lifting her off the ground and finding her lips.

Holding her slightly above her own height they kissed passionately, lips and tongues caressing each other as she slowly lowered the M.E. back to the floor. After a few lingering minutes they parted, resting their forwards against each other for a moment before pulling back to look in each other's eyes.

"I love you Maura Isles," Jane said emotionally.

"I know," Maura replied with a smile that made Jane weak in the knees, "Now please come back to bed and let me show you how much I love you."

Jane grinned stupidly as Maura took her hand and guided her back to the bedroom.

…

Jane approached Maura who was now standing next to the bed and reached for the buttons of her silk nightshirt as their gazes met. Jane enjoyed watching the anticipation build in Maura's eyes with each button she undid. When they were all open she opened the shirt and slid the material off Maura's shoulders, drinking in the sight of exposed breasts.

"You're beautiful, Mar," she whispered reverently before sliding silk pants down smooth legs. Reaching up from her kneeling position she slid lacy panties over and down quivering thighs. "More beautiful than I ever imagined."

Standing back up she wrapped the now naked woman in her arms, kissing her lovingly before pulling back to look in her eyes. "You're sure this is what you want? That I'm what you want?"

"I've never been so sure of anything before in my life," Maura smiled, kissing Jane softly before reaching down to grip the hem of her t-shirt and pull the garment over her head.

"You're beautiful Jane," Maura commented. Jane shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and Maura asked her what was wrong.

"It's nothing," Jane said, trying to deflect by moving her hands to Maura's breasts and kneading them gently.

"Oh God, Jane," she moaned at the touch," as much as I want you to continue I want to know what's wrong," she finished, stilling Jane's hands with her own.

Jane looked down at the floor feeling stupid. "It's just, I have scars."

Maura looked down at the scarred skin on Jane's abdomen where the bullet had entered her body. Jane tried to protest when Maura kneeled down in front of her but was silenced by loving lips kissing her scarred flesh. Jane flinched at first but soon relaxed. When Maura indicated she should turn around she did so without hesitation and moaned softly when soft lips kissed the matching exit wound on her back. Slowly she felt Maura kiss her way up her back, stopping at her shoulder before turning her back around to face the M.E. When Maura took each of her scarred hands and kissed them as well, Jane felt tears well up in her eyes.

"I love all of you Jane. These scars only remind me what a brave and loving woman you are. They are nothing you should ever be ashamed of."

Then those unbelievably soft lips were kissing Jane again and she felt intoxicated by the incredible amount of love she felt surging through her for this beautiful woman. Soon they were lying together on the bed, wrapping around each other as they kissed passionately. All too soon for Jane's liking Maura broke the kiss, moving to her knees where she stripped off Jane's pants, quickly followed by her panties.

"I've wanted this for so long Jane," Maura whispered with desire, her voice deep as she crawled back up the Detective's body to kiss her again. Soon she was making her way back down and Jane gasped in pleasure as a warm mouth enveloped her aching nipple.

"Jesus, Mar, you feel good," she moaned as she slid her fingers through amber hair.

Jane writhed with pleasure as Maura continued down her body, kissing her everywhere as she went. When she arrived where Jane needed her most she couldn't help the hoarse scream that left her throat as Maura slipped her tongue between wet folds.

"You taste wonderful," Maura breathed hotly against her.

Jane was lost to her feelings as Maura loved her with her mouth and just when she thought she was going to fall over the edge the smaller woman stopped, causing Jane to groan out in frustration.

"Are you trying to kill me?" she said as Maura's gorgeous face appeared before her smiling seductively.

Any other thoughts quickly fled when she felt Maura enter her with two fingers.

"Oh my God," She groaned, thrusting in time with Maura's rhythm. When the M.E. started to caress the sensitive bundle of nerves with her thumb Jane knew she wasn't going to last much longer. Throwing her head back against the pillow and closing her eyes she tried and failed to stifle a scream when Maura bit one of her erect nipples gently before flicking it with her tongue.

"Look at me Jane," she heard Maura say from somewhere though her mind felt completely foggy with need. With effort she managed to open her eyes part way and again felt herself drowning in the love and desire she saw in Maura's now very dark green eyes.

"I want you to keep looking at me Jane. I want to see you when you come," Maura told her, voice thick with desire.

Jane moaned her response and nodded her head slightly. Maura was going to kill her but she couldn't imagine a better way to go. Never in her life could she remember making love to someone feeling so damn good. Maura was making her feel things not only physically but emotionally as well that she didn't know she was capable of. Maura increased her thrusting and Jane gasped her encouragement trying to stay focused on dark green eyes. When Maura's thumb increased its speed Jane's body started trembling almost violently as Maura found a spot inside her that was quickly sending her over the edge.

"Oh god, Mar, yes, yes! Fuck yes!" Jane exclaimed as she felt herself getting close. Automatically her eyes closed and Maura stopped.

Jane's eyes snapped open and she was about to yell her protest when Maura started again causing Jane to jump at the suddenness before she started thrusting against Maura again. Looking into Maura's eyes Jane clearly got the message. If she closed her eyes then Maura would stop. Willing herself to keep her eyes open no matter what she concentrated on the M.E.'s gaze as she felt herself coming.

"I love you Jane," Maura whispered against her lips.

That declaration along with Maura's very talented fingers was all it took to send Jane screaming over the edge, she managed to hold Maura's gaze she did so. The orgasm felt like it was going to last forever as Maura used her skills to prolong it and Jane greedily took everything she was giving her. Finally Jane lay trembling and sated while Maura gathered the blankets over them and snuggled into her.

After a few minutes Jane finally had enough energy back to crack open one eye lid and look at Maura.

"What are you looking at?" Jane asked with a smile as she noticed Maura was propped up on one elbow staring at her.

"The most gorgeous woman I've ever seen," Maura answered with her own smile.

Jane laughed but then grew serious for a moment, "That was amazing Mar, I've never, I don't even know how to explain what I feel."

Maura placed a finger over her lips, "It's ok Jane, I know, I could see it."

Jane smiled, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Maura replied.

"C'mere," Jane said, wrapping her arms around Maura and kissing her passionately.

After a moment they pulled apart and Maura asked teasingly, "What do you want to do now?"

"Now?" Jane smirked, her eyes smouldering. "Now I'm going to do something I've wanted to do for a long time."

Maura squealed as Jane pounced playfully on top of her, but soon her squeals turned to moans as the Detective proceeded to show the M.E. her own skills.

FIN


End file.
